According to my mother, i'm a loyal listener and good at keeping secret. (haha..)
Not only that, i also good at forgetting secret.
That is why she like to express her feeling and telling secret (about her husband, her siblings, her friends) to me.
She can't do all this with my sister, senang sangat emosi + drama.
It's easy for my mother, but not really for me.
Emosi yang aku tak luahkan makin menimbun..
And some of her problem about my dad kindda effect me psychologically. 
(hate to have 50yearsold dad that work in petroleum industry)
It's not like i really hate my dad, mama cakap "anything that he do, he still a father".

I start don't like boys since i'm 6, because they harass my sister just because of her body size.
I start realize that i'm different from other girls when i'm 12.
I know that i'm not really straight when i'm 14.
I'm out unintentionally to some of my friend last 4 month.
I still thinking what should i do next. 
Well, obviously I eventually will act cool about it, like it never happen..(sigh)

 Right now i act straight well in front of my family.
I just can't stand with my sister question about marriage, future husband quality, barang hantaran, an soo on about her scandal guy friend.
It's getting hard to lie especially when I'm lying to myself.
Pokok Mangga Krismas Berjuntai. XD
p/s: -last week, inside of the class, waiting for lecturer, classmate talking about boys, i just openly said "Aku bukannya straight sangat." (I'm not that straight)
       -it's not like i pride of it, it's just relief to be honest..